3 Thoughts on Succeeding at Improv and Second Marriages

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Mar 01, 2017, 6:00 pm

I must admit… we nailed it last night. Improv 101. Old Spice and I not only survived the seven week class, we are moving on to Improv Level 2.

The finale “Showcase” was last night. We performed as an ensemble cast (so “theater” of me) to friends and family. Actually, to other people’s friends and family: Old Spice and I didn’t have anyone in the audience. It’s not because we don’t have friends and family, I actually discouraged them from coming. I was a bit uncertain how this would “play out” on a stage.

Happily, it is videotaped. Because… did I mention? We nailed it.

Old Spice was perfectly himself, in that aloof unaware kind of way. He just let go and even ran about as an Egyptian dancer in one scene. And me? I was not over thinking. I was actually just having fun. Adult play, some would call it.

You may recall this Improv class was a gift from my friend Tammy, aka Dr. Sher, the Marriage and Family Therapist. So, it’s only fitting that my takeaway from the whole experience somehow seems to tie into some lessons I have learned after just four months of our new marriage. Here they are:

1. Show Up

And be held accountable. Believe me there were several Thursday nights when the last thing I wanted to do was drive to a church in Northside, sit in a basement and “play” with others. But I showed up. Old Spice showed up. We committed. We brought our best selves to the table.

2. Have Fun

l learned to laugh out loud, be silly, laugh with (or at) Old Spice and find the joy in just being in the moment and having fun. We allowed ourselves to be partners: genuine, authentic and vulnerable. Mostly, I realize the undeniable value of laughter.

3. Worry Less

At this point in life I am who I am. Old Spice is who is. We don’t need to prove more than that. This second time around I am learning to let it go. If you don’t like me, I am sorry. I don’t like always like me either, but I do my best (most of the time) and If that’s not good enough, well I can’t stay awake at night worrying about it. I’m too tired to stay awake anymore past Jimmy Fallon (speaking of laughing).

Another added bonus to the “worry less” concept in a second marriage, post-50, is how lovely it is to have adult children… who don’t live with you. Of course I worry about one child or another at some point every day, but we get the house to ourselves. I don’t need to worry about homework, babysitters or a messy kitchen. Nobody made brownies and got chocolate all over the kitchen counter while we were away at Improv. “Showing up” to neat and tidy is very nice!